Battlefield 3
My cousin's child's disabled friend's monkey could fucking snipe. It's not a goddamn skill. But leave it to Battlefield to create the battlegrounds for a game that thrives on these dumbasses that think it actually takes skill to throw stones from the road.
It's apparent that some of the developers for Battlefield used to work on a wonderful game called Halo. It's visible through the gigantic boring maps that take you 5 minutes to get through just to have a monkey with a sniper pick you off in some shitty designed environment. But don't worry! There are vehicles!!! Yes, get in a tank that takes nearly double the time to walk/run to the action or get in an aircraft, with controls designed by a retarded chimp. So exciting!
Your ranking system is dumb and confusing, and frankly, a copycat of COD's expertise in that realm. Your destructable environments are barely that. Your game engine feels like shit. And what fucking idiot decided it was a good idea not to allow anyone to leave a pregame lobby?
Halo: Anything
Who is still playing this piece of shit? Are there really still loser kiddos playing this fucking monstrosity of a series? The game sucks. The story was wrecked to shit. The movie never got made. You had a prize piece on your hands and you let it go to shit because your idea that 5 year olds' opinions are more valuable was a stupid one.
Bungie and the rest of the stupid fucks are now in the active process of hyping up their next release. We all know what happens to games that require this much hype to get people to give attention...Welcome to 2012's Duke Nukem Forever.
I'll save you the late night waiting in line with a bunch of other annoying fucks and the $59.99 (or $129.99 if your the dumb shit that actually buys the fake helmet or whatever the useless trinket they try to hock off on you): the game will suck. The playlists will be shit. The guns wil be week and inaccurate and the game engine will feel like a shitty take on an old classic. The vehicles will be the same as they've always been (fun, but no innovation) and will make you think like you've got your money's worth. Until you find yourself playing Black Ops 2 three weeks later. "Eh, I got my money's worth," you'll say, not wanting to admit you actually made a terrible mistake wasting your time and money on such shit.
MW3
Modern Warfare 3 is no prize, but at least it stands out. It's still at the top of Major Nutsack's ratings scale , when he does actually get his old ass to a computer to update. It carries that nice engine and wonderfully full and mature ranking system. I find myself addicted as can be, as usual, a far different experience when playing any Halo or Battlefield title.
Of course it's beyond me why the map design is such shit in this game too (why are there ANY corners to get stuck on?). And it seems multiplayer would benefit vastly to design the matchmaking options on IQ. I'm a bit tired of playing with complete idiots.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Back below COD
I love when the statistics are finally released by that moron geezer Major Nelson and once again Halo bReach (purposeful) is below COD. There goes Halo's fighting chance. Sorry, but perhaps you should have listened to more than just the 12 year olds when patching previous games and fixing multiplayer. Bungie can rot in hell! MWHAHAHAHA!!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
How's that multiplayer playlist?
It's hilarious. It truly is.
I made a post on X-Box Live Forums recently about how I thought all the moronic kiddy players would move off of MW2 and over to Halo:Reach. The post was on how the morons are still around playing MW2 and making my life hell.
Of course, with the number of moronic kids posting on that forum on a regular basis, most responses were people misinterpreting my half-kidding thread. On the other hand, I was delighted to hear from 1-2 responders that say that the playlists are terrible.
It's nice to see that NOTHING has changed. Bungie was known for removing all of the fun playlists. The most popular and interesting gametypes were constantly removed. I'd get attached to one, everyone praised it on the forums, then they removed it. I'd get attached to another one, everyone praised it on the forums, then they removed it.
Glad to hear they didn't learn shit.
I made a post on X-Box Live Forums recently about how I thought all the moronic kiddy players would move off of MW2 and over to Halo:Reach. The post was on how the morons are still around playing MW2 and making my life hell.
Of course, with the number of moronic kids posting on that forum on a regular basis, most responses were people misinterpreting my half-kidding thread. On the other hand, I was delighted to hear from 1-2 responders that say that the playlists are terrible.
It's nice to see that NOTHING has changed. Bungie was known for removing all of the fun playlists. The most popular and interesting gametypes were constantly removed. I'd get attached to one, everyone praised it on the forums, then they removed it. I'd get attached to another one, everyone praised it on the forums, then they removed it.
Glad to hear they didn't learn shit.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Major Nelson and Bungie suck each others cocks
It's really sad to see stories such as this one, published by MS video game geezer Major Nelson.
I get the RSS feed of Major's blog sent to my phone every day and for some time, I've noticed Halo story after Halo story, even when Halo was yesterday's news. We'd see the "Halo Kill of the Week" for some reason, as if Halo was the greatest game ever made.
Well, folks, it's not. Turns out this 50 year old that strives to be younger than his kids has had his hand on Bungie's cock for some time now. Halo is released and all the sudden, it's a big deal to talk about how it's coming to be the #1 Live game! Well, I'd fucking hope so. Any big release is going to be up there. Release GTA5 and you'll have the same story. But will it get the same attention? Of course not. I equate this argument similarly to CNET and Apple. CNET swallows all the Apple cum every time it's shot, putting up 150% coverage of anything Apple, but when competitors release similar information or updates, it's the 7th story back.
Modern Warfare 2 has dominated online gaming the longest EVER on XBL. Where's the story on that?
When Rochester, NY publishes stories on what's so "great" about this area, it's laughable because a city shouldn't have to advertise itself. Philadelphia doesn't need ads to tell people to come. Halo: bReach (purposeful) shouldn't need a fucking story saying it's on top past 7 days. Any big title can do this. I think someone's a little disillusioned about what is actually better.
Halo blows. And now we come to find out Major Nelson blows, too. And blowing each other.
I get the RSS feed of Major's blog sent to my phone every day and for some time, I've noticed Halo story after Halo story, even when Halo was yesterday's news. We'd see the "Halo Kill of the Week" for some reason, as if Halo was the greatest game ever made.
Well, folks, it's not. Turns out this 50 year old that strives to be younger than his kids has had his hand on Bungie's cock for some time now. Halo is released and all the sudden, it's a big deal to talk about how it's coming to be the #1 Live game! Well, I'd fucking hope so. Any big release is going to be up there. Release GTA5 and you'll have the same story. But will it get the same attention? Of course not. I equate this argument similarly to CNET and Apple. CNET swallows all the Apple cum every time it's shot, putting up 150% coverage of anything Apple, but when competitors release similar information or updates, it's the 7th story back.
Modern Warfare 2 has dominated online gaming the longest EVER on XBL. Where's the story on that?
When Rochester, NY publishes stories on what's so "great" about this area, it's laughable because a city shouldn't have to advertise itself. Philadelphia doesn't need ads to tell people to come. Halo: bReach (purposeful) shouldn't need a fucking story saying it's on top past 7 days. Any big title can do this. I think someone's a little disillusioned about what is actually better.
Halo blows. And now we come to find out Major Nelson blows, too. And blowing each other.
Friday, September 17, 2010
And yet here we go again...
I was browsing my Facebook page for updates from friends when I came across a YouTube video of a classical music piece. I listened for a bit before wanting to listen to one of my favorite classical songs: Raindrop Prelude by Chopin. Many Halo fans might remember that this is the tune playing in the background of the epic diorama Halo 3 commercial. That just made me want to watch the commercial once more. It made my heart race in silence, a truly great feeling, until the commercial was over and anger resurfaced.
Boy, did Bungie really fuck up a potentially great storyline. They fragmented the story so much that it couldn't be followed with in-depth emotion and it made the entire thing just plain tired. That epic commercial once made me feel like Halo 3 was going to be the greatest piece that would fill in all of the exciting ideas of a war with alien encounters. Turns out it was junk.
And yet again, here comes Halo: Reach. Another disjointed segment of this tired story. I will admit, if Halo becomes a movie, it might be a great story. But as it's released in unorganized segments to video gamers everywhere, it's just unappealing garbage.
I am refusing to check in on the new update. I have enveloped myself in hatred of Bungie and don't really need to view the game to know it sucks. I know that as time goes on, all the 12-year olds' opinions will weigh true to change and will ultimately steer further augmentation and updates to the game. Pass. I'm just so glad that all the moronic players that I can't get away from on XBL are finally going to join their rightful co-moron demographic, playing Halo, once again.
Thank you, Bungie. I truly appreciate that one.
Boy, did Bungie really fuck up a potentially great storyline. They fragmented the story so much that it couldn't be followed with in-depth emotion and it made the entire thing just plain tired. That epic commercial once made me feel like Halo 3 was going to be the greatest piece that would fill in all of the exciting ideas of a war with alien encounters. Turns out it was junk.
And yet again, here comes Halo: Reach. Another disjointed segment of this tired story. I will admit, if Halo becomes a movie, it might be a great story. But as it's released in unorganized segments to video gamers everywhere, it's just unappealing garbage.
I am refusing to check in on the new update. I have enveloped myself in hatred of Bungie and don't really need to view the game to know it sucks. I know that as time goes on, all the 12-year olds' opinions will weigh true to change and will ultimately steer further augmentation and updates to the game. Pass. I'm just so glad that all the moronic players that I can't get away from on XBL are finally going to join their rightful co-moron demographic, playing Halo, once again.
Thank you, Bungie. I truly appreciate that one.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Proof-flavored pudding and CoD4 still owns
I certainly don't want to push for a CoD4 agenda, however, being one that likes FPS games the most, I certainly have some kind of bias for the one that tops off the most popular (at first inspection). It has been said that Bioshock is definitely worth the effort of straining your eyes through the darkness of the game, and I've listened to those people and will eventually buy it, I think after I'm through with Saints Row 2 when it arrives in a week or so.
Two things I would like to address in this post. First off is some interesting observations I've made with the XBL community. And secondly, the observations that anyone can make right here with this blog.
For those Bungie/Halo fanboys holding on for dear life, you might want to just give it up. The last big stories of Halo being popular were back in September 2007. The only stories you actually can find when you're really searching for them, are stories on how Bungie has to offer their map packs for free, possibly thinking that will improve their numbers. It doesn't and the lack of appropriate response or fixing of their game never occurs. CoD4 on the other hand, made news in December for it's rush to #1, in March for their release of the map pack, and if you really search, you will find every other months' double XP weekend, patch information, and forum posts by the makers of the game responding to Joe Everyman. Take a look at Bungie forums; tons and tons of locked threads. If you really think about it, that can only mean two things: either your fanboys are a bunch of morons who cannot do simple tasks like read forum topic labels, or there are power-hungry admins that just can't wait to get back Barry Jocksbeatmyass for what he did to them back in grade school.
Again, I don't want to make this a CoD4 blog, but it just serves as a good example of a better game with makers that GET IT. They listen to the right people, are responsive, and not just swing the banhammer and lie blatently to their following.
But let's get right down to it. Want the update on CoD4 vs. Halo 3? Want to know just how many weeks each game has been in first place? Here we go...
Since each game has hit stores
Halo 3: 19 weeks #1 game
CoD4: 25 weeks #1 game
(GTA4: 4 weeks #1, and week of 7/7/08 and 10/22/07 seem to be missing - source: Major Nelson)
If you want to make it so that it's just the weeks when both games were on the market
Halo 3: 14 weeks #1
CoD4: 25 weeks #1
(that's even worse!)
Halo 3 weeks: 9/24, 10/1, 10/8, 10/15, 10/29, 11/5, 11/12, 11/19, 11/26, 12/3, 12/10, 12/17, 1/7, 1/21, 7/14, 7/21, 7/28, 8/4, 9/22)
CoD4 weeks: 1/14, 1/28, 2/4, 2/11, 2/18, 2/25, 3/3, 3/17, 3/24, 3/31, 4/7, 4/14, 4/21, 5/26, 6/2, 6/9, 6/16, 6/23, 6/30, 8/11, 8/18, 8/25, 9/1, 9/8, 9/15)
Yeah, you can certainly say that the games exchange back and forth, but CoD4 dominates the pattern. Just look at that solid 5-6 months before GTA4 came out in May 2008! I do expect the competition to come to an end either this month or next, as Saints Row 2 might carry over the #1 spot for a bit, then CoD5 is expected out, and not being super popular, might not be good enough for #1, but might be just enough to pull CoD4 players out. So we can pretty much declare the winner now: Any game that isn't Halo.
Another observation of mine comes from this blog. Where are people finding this site and coming to read it only to bash it? Why come here in the first place? You must be looking for something that's negative against Bungie, only to find a supreme and intelligent asshole such as myself tell you that you wasted your Monday night September 24th waiting in line yelling out moronic jargon that just isn't funny, ready to waste the allowance your parents forwarded to you so you can afford the game. Instead of trying to fight with someone online over something you are in denial about, spend your time a little more wisely. Like working through your denial or at least slapping your parents and telling them to never give you any money like that ever again.
Even liberals should check out conservative programming once in a while so that you can have some balance and insight into your choices. Same with these games. If you're on board with me hating Bungie, make sure you do take the time to at least check out their community, just to remind you of how bad it really is. And that's only a reflection of the game itself.
Fuckbungie
Two things I would like to address in this post. First off is some interesting observations I've made with the XBL community. And secondly, the observations that anyone can make right here with this blog.
For those Bungie/Halo fanboys holding on for dear life, you might want to just give it up. The last big stories of Halo being popular were back in September 2007. The only stories you actually can find when you're really searching for them, are stories on how Bungie has to offer their map packs for free, possibly thinking that will improve their numbers. It doesn't and the lack of appropriate response or fixing of their game never occurs. CoD4 on the other hand, made news in December for it's rush to #1, in March for their release of the map pack, and if you really search, you will find every other months' double XP weekend, patch information, and forum posts by the makers of the game responding to Joe Everyman. Take a look at Bungie forums; tons and tons of locked threads. If you really think about it, that can only mean two things: either your fanboys are a bunch of morons who cannot do simple tasks like read forum topic labels, or there are power-hungry admins that just can't wait to get back Barry Jocksbeatmyass for what he did to them back in grade school.
Again, I don't want to make this a CoD4 blog, but it just serves as a good example of a better game with makers that GET IT. They listen to the right people, are responsive, and not just swing the banhammer and lie blatently to their following.
But let's get right down to it. Want the update on CoD4 vs. Halo 3? Want to know just how many weeks each game has been in first place? Here we go...
Since each game has hit stores
Halo 3: 19 weeks #1 game
CoD4: 25 weeks #1 game
(GTA4: 4 weeks #1, and week of 7/7/08 and 10/22/07 seem to be missing - source: Major Nelson)
If you want to make it so that it's just the weeks when both games were on the market
Halo 3: 14 weeks #1
CoD4: 25 weeks #1
(that's even worse!)
Halo 3 weeks: 9/24, 10/1, 10/8, 10/15, 10/29, 11/5, 11/12, 11/19, 11/26, 12/3, 12/10, 12/17, 1/7, 1/21, 7/14, 7/21, 7/28, 8/4, 9/22)
CoD4 weeks: 1/14, 1/28, 2/4, 2/11, 2/18, 2/25, 3/3, 3/17, 3/24, 3/31, 4/7, 4/14, 4/21, 5/26, 6/2, 6/9, 6/16, 6/23, 6/30, 8/11, 8/18, 8/25, 9/1, 9/8, 9/15)
Yeah, you can certainly say that the games exchange back and forth, but CoD4 dominates the pattern. Just look at that solid 5-6 months before GTA4 came out in May 2008! I do expect the competition to come to an end either this month or next, as Saints Row 2 might carry over the #1 spot for a bit, then CoD5 is expected out, and not being super popular, might not be good enough for #1, but might be just enough to pull CoD4 players out. So we can pretty much declare the winner now: Any game that isn't Halo.
Another observation of mine comes from this blog. Where are people finding this site and coming to read it only to bash it? Why come here in the first place? You must be looking for something that's negative against Bungie, only to find a supreme and intelligent asshole such as myself tell you that you wasted your Monday night September 24th waiting in line yelling out moronic jargon that just isn't funny, ready to waste the allowance your parents forwarded to you so you can afford the game. Instead of trying to fight with someone online over something you are in denial about, spend your time a little more wisely. Like working through your denial or at least slapping your parents and telling them to never give you any money like that ever again.
Even liberals should check out conservative programming once in a while so that you can have some balance and insight into your choices. Same with these games. If you're on board with me hating Bungie, make sure you do take the time to at least check out their community, just to remind you of how bad it really is. And that's only a reflection of the game itself.
Fuckbungie
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Halo 3 still sucks
I enjoy posts on Xbox Live marketplace offering free maps for Halo 3, months after I didn't buy the maps when they first arrived on the scene. I love pressing the right directional and skipping right over it, knowing that maps will STILL not make a damn difference; the game still sucks.
Halo 3 is on top of the list on Xbox Live, yet, just remember naive users, we're in a downspike. The numbers are spread so thin because the lack of novelty. There's no big clear winner, just the game with a few more players at that time. Call of Duty STILL lasted longer than Halo 3 ever did. And it was something new for people to talk about. Halo was just the same mundane bullshit than drones and drones of moronic, uninteresting, and uninnovative players sit there and play with their homoerotic friends on a nightly basis.
Most of my gaming activity has been towards GTA4 ever since it's release, trying to get all the accomplishments and laughing quite a bit more than I usually do when playing video games. But when a particular new game comes out, the numbers will swing again and Halo will get pushed back down, just like you pushed down your younger brother's face when he annoyed the piss out of you. When Halo does have high numbers, it's kind of like AOL Instant Messenger. You knew it wasn't the best messenger out there, but you have to get it because everyone you know uses it. Same with Verizon cell phones. And Halo 4 will come out and the same drones will wait in line for a shitty game, but they will never admit it, because social psychology says people have to defend their investments by default, so they don't look foolish.
As a sidenote, I am relieved of seeing the practice of "teabagging", a video gaming act that involves a player virtually dropping their "nuts" on another player's face. For some reason, nobody has realized how homosexual it really is. Look up latent homosexuality online and maybe you'll have your answer. I'm not saying it's bad to be homosexual, but it is bad to be lying to yourself about your true lifestyle. A fraternity member teabagging a new recruit for the fraternity is a GAY ACT. Not just guys having fun. Again, look up latent homosexuality.
Halo 3 is on top of the list on Xbox Live, yet, just remember naive users, we're in a downspike. The numbers are spread so thin because the lack of novelty. There's no big clear winner, just the game with a few more players at that time. Call of Duty STILL lasted longer than Halo 3 ever did. And it was something new for people to talk about. Halo was just the same mundane bullshit than drones and drones of moronic, uninteresting, and uninnovative players sit there and play with their homoerotic friends on a nightly basis.
Most of my gaming activity has been towards GTA4 ever since it's release, trying to get all the accomplishments and laughing quite a bit more than I usually do when playing video games. But when a particular new game comes out, the numbers will swing again and Halo will get pushed back down, just like you pushed down your younger brother's face when he annoyed the piss out of you. When Halo does have high numbers, it's kind of like AOL Instant Messenger. You knew it wasn't the best messenger out there, but you have to get it because everyone you know uses it. Same with Verizon cell phones. And Halo 4 will come out and the same drones will wait in line for a shitty game, but they will never admit it, because social psychology says people have to defend their investments by default, so they don't look foolish.
As a sidenote, I am relieved of seeing the practice of "teabagging", a video gaming act that involves a player virtually dropping their "nuts" on another player's face. For some reason, nobody has realized how homosexual it really is. Look up latent homosexuality online and maybe you'll have your answer. I'm not saying it's bad to be homosexual, but it is bad to be lying to yourself about your true lifestyle. A fraternity member teabagging a new recruit for the fraternity is a GAY ACT. Not just guys having fun. Again, look up latent homosexuality.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)