Battlefield 3
My cousin's child's disabled friend's monkey could fucking snipe. It's not a goddamn skill. But leave it to Battlefield to create the battlegrounds for a game that thrives on these dumbasses that think it actually takes skill to throw stones from the road.
It's apparent that some of the developers for Battlefield used to work on a wonderful game called Halo. It's visible through the gigantic boring maps that take you 5 minutes to get through just to have a monkey with a sniper pick you off in some shitty designed environment. But don't worry! There are vehicles!!! Yes, get in a tank that takes nearly double the time to walk/run to the action or get in an aircraft, with controls designed by a retarded chimp. So exciting!
Your ranking system is dumb and confusing, and frankly, a copycat of COD's expertise in that realm. Your destructable environments are barely that. Your game engine feels like shit. And what fucking idiot decided it was a good idea not to allow anyone to leave a pregame lobby?
Halo: Anything
Who is still playing this piece of shit? Are there really still loser kiddos playing this fucking monstrosity of a series? The game sucks. The story was wrecked to shit. The movie never got made. You had a prize piece on your hands and you let it go to shit because your idea that 5 year olds' opinions are more valuable was a stupid one.
Bungie and the rest of the stupid fucks are now in the active process of hyping up their next release. We all know what happens to games that require this much hype to get people to give attention...Welcome to 2012's Duke Nukem Forever.
I'll save you the late night waiting in line with a bunch of other annoying fucks and the $59.99 (or $129.99 if your the dumb shit that actually buys the fake helmet or whatever the useless trinket they try to hock off on you): the game will suck. The playlists will be shit. The guns wil be week and inaccurate and the game engine will feel like a shitty take on an old classic. The vehicles will be the same as they've always been (fun, but no innovation) and will make you think like you've got your money's worth. Until you find yourself playing Black Ops 2 three weeks later. "Eh, I got my money's worth," you'll say, not wanting to admit you actually made a terrible mistake wasting your time and money on such shit.
MW3
Modern Warfare 3 is no prize, but at least it stands out. It's still at the top of Major Nutsack's ratings scale , when he does actually get his old ass to a computer to update. It carries that nice engine and wonderfully full and mature ranking system. I find myself addicted as can be, as usual, a far different experience when playing any Halo or Battlefield title.
Of course it's beyond me why the map design is such shit in this game too (why are there ANY corners to get stuck on?). And it seems multiplayer would benefit vastly to design the matchmaking options on IQ. I'm a bit tired of playing with complete idiots.
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